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Cardboard Epitaph

Category: /General/

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The madness spoken

Long past expiration date

Born of another era

Hidden alter ego

Casting out the net

To locate the boy within

An overwrought sensitivity

Who let the joy of innocence

Be snatched away

By a bottle found

Struggling to float

In the vast sea

Subconsciously

On the path

To that place everyone swore

Was a paradise

In fact

An abyss

To drown in.



What was sweet

Became bitter

Reap what you sow

An amoral degenerate

Searching for his soul

Insanely staring into

A cesspool of self destruction

Leaving bitter tongues

And broken hearts

In his wake.



Despite my subtle warnings

You're yearning to pry open

The Pandora box

Diverse tricks

Of a clever con

That mental obsession

Will never let you have

A sober breath

Cause you want to forget

The dissenting voices

How you've failed

As a friend

A husband

And as a man.



Savoring that taste

Impatient for the ecstasy

To kick in

The glorious superficial joy

Toying with your conscience

Eating away your confidence

Until the darkness

Arrives unwelcomed

Can't remember if it

Was a blackout

Undoubtedly wallowing in sin

Until you resurface again

Declaring no more

Until it calls repeatedly

Always knowing

When you're feeling out of sorts

Or on top of the world

Inevitably giving in

Seemingly no end

To this insanity.



I prefer to stay in

To pause and reflect

On where I am now

Instead of the notoriety

They still talk about

I'm not interested

In the madness out there

I'm blessed to have survived

Twenty plus years down the line

Should have died

Many times over

But I'm no longer

Infected with shame

For passing out

In some deserted alley

Rolling around in my vomit

Ashamed for screwing up again

So grateful to be alive

To tell the tale.


To each his own

It may work for you

It certainly didn't for me

Perhaps you'll discover this

During a dark night of the soul

With a pistol at your head

And a bottle in your free hand

You were born

Not to be at the mercy

Of the devil hidden

In a chemical compound

That's strewn so much misery

Some still trying

To dig themselves out

From being buried

In the city.



Simultaneously sad

And disgusting

I wasn't fooling anyone

The joke on me

And eventually the grim reaper

Came to collect

24 hrs is all I ask

And I thank God every day

For honoring my request

And extracting me

From that mess

Before my obituary

Went to press.


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